Hi, Mr. Andy Wong.
Hi, Bill Nixon.
Reporter of Asia Media Weekly.
I've already ran a background check on you.
We'd like to do an interview and shoot some photos.
Sure, no problem.
People call you Hong Kong's King of Porn.
They say you created a whole new style of pornography.
What's your take on that?
They're being nice, but it's true...
...our magazine has the highest circulation indeed.
This way Sure.
Are you embarrassed by having photo's taken
with this many naked women?
Not at all.
In the last few years, I've had more than 10,000
women strip in front of my face.
According to information
you and your partner John are both graduated from a university.
Why would university graduates turn to porn publishing?
Can you tell us more about your background?
How did you meet John?
I was a scriptwriter in a television station.
But my career was going nowhere.
Then a publishing company hired me.
That was how it all started.
I met John at the editorial department.
We hit it off instantly
and became instant friends.
What's up?
Angus, how many are they firing this week?
I heard over a dozen got the pink slip downstairs.
That's sad.
I don't think it'll affect us.
We are pillars in this organization.
Right, we're pillars.
This is so painful to watch.
For you!
John, I wish they had fired me instead.
You know I don't really need the income.
I'm not in it for the money.
This one's yours.
Please clean up and leave by 5pm.
Or we'll call security.
Come on, was that attitude necessary.
What's the big plan?
Get another job, I guess.
Maybe we should start something.
Like what?
We're in publishing, let's start a magazine.
What kind of magazine?
They fired a lot of us today.
That's fine, my boss said I'm up for a raise.
I'll provide for you.
That makes me feel so useless.
Of course not, I think you're talented.
You just need the right opportunity.
This could be the chance.
I discussed with a bunch of old colleagues.
We have an idea for a Shopper's guide for youngsters.
I haven't promised anything.
How much money will you need?
Less than a hundred grand each.
It's not a problem for me, because I don't have any.
I do.
You do?
All right!
What do you think?
Top notch!
This couch is fantastic.
It's virtually perfection.
For some reasons, the partners all landed jobs quickly.
John joined a newspaper's adult entertainment page.
Can you just wait a minute.
I've submitted your pieces to my boss.
He should be out quickly.
You like your drink?
Boss OK.
John, these two articles are crap.
Totally unreadable.
It's a simplified menu for hookers.
Just names of women and their rates.
We need more description.
You his boss?
Who are you?
This is Mr. Lam, the massage parlor expert.
And that is George.
He is a pimp.
If we can write well, we won't need to drive hookers around.
Idiot!
What the fuck you want? Do you need our tips or what?
I told you we're only providing tips.
Fine---
I don't care.
Spend a few hundred dollars.
Get someone to rewrite these.
I need them to be entertaining.
As if...
These two are legends in the industry.
Yes, OK?
4-Eyes became a TV reporter.
Mike worked in real estate.
Ben joined an accounting firm.
I didn't find any work.
Let's think of a name for the pimp.
He's real name is Dragon.
Lung's to generic, need to spice it up.
What are his physical attributes?
He's quite stocky.
Fat Dragon then, simple enough.
Easy to recall, Fat Dragon it is.
As for the Massage Parlor guy.
His name is Jones, he's quite skinny in person.
Skinny Jones.
How about Boney Jones.
Boney Jones it is!
Fat Dragon and Boney Jones, sounds good.
Who's going to be which?
Who'll be Fat Dragon and who'll play Boney Jones?
Let's do this together.
We'll switch daily.
I'll take Boney today and you can be Dragon.
Then we switch tomorrow.
Sure---
The Guide's called Look Guide?
Sounds like "drop dead" in Cantonese!
The name was your idea!
I thought you know how to change luck with names.
How could we call our guide "drop dead".
It was all because you called
and said there wasn't any time left.
You could have used "Luck".
Or "Lucky".
Should I have used the name "Luke" instead.
Why not?
But how could you have chosen the word "Look".
Grammatically doesn't make any sense!
Good news!
I looked over, but our guide---
Uh-oh, look guide (drop dead) indeed.
Lots of reader letters?
A pile for Fat Dragon, and another for Boney Jones.
It's only been one day.
This is awesome.
I asked the distributor.
He says only two kinds of books make money now.
This is one.
And this is the other.
Let's have your opinions.
4-eyes.
Personally, I'm a Christian.
I have a strict stand in these things.
I think text books can help students.
I agree with 4-eyes.
We can study the school curriculum.
Make friends with school teachers.
I'm sure we can sell these books easily.
I just want to know our investment.
How many books do we sell to make our money back.
Pubic hair!
You saw a lot?
How about you, John?
I---
I think text book is a good idea.
I bought lots of them when I was in school ---
Fuck every hole she has.
Use your hands when necessary
---for exercise.
Text book, that's a good idea.
It's a brilliant idea.
I agree a hundred percent.
Let's put this to a vote.
Those in favor of text books?
Those in favor of porn magazines?
Good morning.
We're looking for Mr. Dai.
Whom shall I say is looking?
You can tell him it's John.
Wait a minute.
Thanks.
I want another headline.
A bunch of useless hacks!
How are you two youngsters?
Sit---
Go on!
Coffee?
Two cups of coffee, Darlene!
You're too kind.
Scrap that then.
How are you guys?
Our industry really needs people like you two.
Full of creative talents.
We've met before---
John.
Of course John, we've met.
Twice, right?
We publish anything.
Diet Magazines.
Theology books.
Aeronautical Science.
Encyclopedia of Herbal Medicine.
I wrote this myself, Japanese for Beginners.
I'm Nakamura Naoko.
What's your big idea?
Haven't you guys prepared anything.
We haven't.
We just want to print a porn magazine.
We don't print porn here.
How dirty can you go?
I am Fat Dragon
and I'm Boney Jones.
Or sometimes I am Fat Dragon.
And I am Boney Jones.
You should've said something earlier.
Darlene, bring in the red wine!
Sit down please.
Japanese had had Guidebook to Hookers for quite some.
Were you the first to do something like that in Hong Kong.
Yes, purely by coincidence.
Fat Dragon and Boney Jones were such a hit.
I knew then that this would become the trend for porn magazines.
Even though nobody else believed in us.
It was more difficult than
we imagined it to be.
The other partners weren't helping.
John and I did everything by ourselves.
Ben, there are two guys looking for you.
Hi, Mr. Ben.
We're from Wild Side Magazine.
He's John, I'm Andy.
We'd like to request for an in depth interview
to promote your club.
Or you can post an advertisement with us.
No need for any advertising here.
We've got lots of reliable customers already.
But---although this place is a hit---
This place could be an even bigger hit.
We can write recommendations for the girls here---
I told you it's not necessary.
Come over here, mister.
What environment?
It's fucking quiet these days.
No one can get a fucking customer, damn it.
Guys, looking for a good massage?
What's up, bro?
Chippy told us to come here.
Said we should look for the Ma Brothers.
Right---
Chippy recommended?
I'm Big Ma, he's Little Ma.
How are you?
Sit please.
Thanks.
What's on your mind?
We'd like to launch a magazine.
It'll be a one of its kind guide to the sextrade.
An extraordinary guide.
We'd like to interview you both and the girls who work for you.
Do some marketing for you.
This is fucking funny.
What kind of an idea is that?
Prostitution marketing?
What are your names?
I'm John, this is Andy.
John fucking Andy.
No, I'm Andy.
Kidding ---
Have you guys ever tried hookers before?
What?
I haven't.
Neither have I---
You haven't even tried it yourselves, yet you want to market our trade?
This is fucking hilarious.
Anyway, I've got the time, so I'll have fun with you guys.
Get the girls out here.
Hold on.
Girls, get the hell out here!
Customers?
Hurry!
Come on, hurry.
I'll show you what real prostitutes are.
These girls are all prostitutes.
Whores for short.
Choose one.
Shit, stop pretending.
Do you know what's rule number one?
Hookers hate shy guys, they won't give you head.
OK, I'll pick for you.
Gosh, you're too much---
Ling, take off your tops.
Watch out for a nose bleed.
Now that's what I call headlights.
Good stuff.
Fuck, stop pretending.
Coco, take it off.
Chandeliers Guaranteed nose bleed!
Good stuff, eh?
Come over here.
I bet you're just pretending.
Make some room.
Didn't you say you want to market this stuff.
You can feel it up close now.
Judge for yourselves if they're real.
Feel it.
Come on.
This is what I call a real pro.
Great.
Sorry.
You touched it, you pay for it.
What?
Why do you think they call it the flesh trade.
You said you wanted to publish a magazine.
I just taught you an important lesson.
Pay up.
You guys keep this in mind.
If you want to publish a Guide to Whores.
You have to understand two sorts of people.
The hooker's and the customer's.
Understand?
Understood, Big Ma.
Thanks for the lesson.
Take care of it.
I hear you're the expert in getting women to undress.
Only women I know.
What do you guys want, tell her.
Come on.
Dance, then undress ---
Do a little dance, then squeeze your tits.
Touch your tits, then squeeze your nipples.
Take off cushion.
No---
I have a shaver, need to shave her armpit hair?
OK?
Just relax.
Yeah!
Come on---
Quick---strip---
Quick--- Up---
Shoe--- No Shoe---
Up--- Quick---
Chair---Yeah---
Perfect ---
Stop!
Don't go all the way, that's perfect.
Really, then I'm not taking it off.
What the hell are you doing?
You got us all excited,
what are going to do now?
You're a man too, you know what porn magazines need.
Seriously, when we set out to publish this
it was a monumental decision
to put it bluntly.
Nothing can stop us now.
Don't be in the way, brother!
I know what you mean.
I'm ok to make some adjustments with my art.
I'm also a horny guy myself.
But figure out a way to convince her first.
Artistic maestro
have you ever been beaten up during a photo shoot?
That's it, perfect!
Now I know pornography equals art
and art equals pornography.
Good porn means good art
there it is... I can see clearly now.
This is good porn.
Perfection! Good porn! Good art!
Check this out.
Tom's dick so long it bends.
Nicole's oral techniques are heaven sent.
They start fighting but have sex in the end.
Finish this pizza and lick it again.
Imagine her mouth must be really oily.
Finish this pizza... and just fuck it again?
Fuck it again.
Fuck again it is! Fuck it again.
We're all here, you're the only one missing.
Hurry up.
Is that the one?
Can't be.
Don't panic, this isn't it.
I think it is.
Go after it!
You're all here?
Why didn't you guys get a cab?
Shut up, let's order first.
Let's get Pork Bone Congee.
Congee under this weather?
They're famous for it.
Fine, 4 bowls of pork bone congee.
This is the area's leading magazine stall.
Should give a good indication of our magazine's sales.
It's extremely indicative.
Is this a new magazine?
Just arrived, hot off the Press.
Can I open it up?
Sure, go ahead.
Look, a customer.
It's really good.
Buy it! Buy it!
Pretty hot indeed!
Buy it...
Fat Dragon and Boney Jones are in it?
I'll take this.
Bought!
If Passion Magazine makes money
I shall donate half of my earnings to charity.
I'll give it all to my mom, she still thinks I'm useless.
I'll investment in printing educational textbooks.
Do some charity work to balance off my guilt.
I'll buy a bigger flat for Fanny.
So we can live comfortably.
Pamela dreamt of owning her own fashion label.
If I have the money
I'll use it to develop her label.
Are we day dreaming or what?
I guess so.
Sold out.
Sold out?
$5 for newspaper.
$5.
I'm paying for this.
Sorry, bro, this isn't for sale, it's my copy.
Not for sale?
Sir, you're pretty old already.
I would hate for you to pop a vein reading this.
Old men are still men.
Frankly speaking
this is the first issue, I want to keep a copy.
It's an instant bestseller.
A mint condition first copy will go up in value.
They can always re-print. That's right.
You don't get it.
When they do, it'll say re-print on the cover.
You're right.
Careful, don't ruin it.
Congatulations, mister.
I won't fight over this with you, it's all yours.
Keep it well, thanks.
That's right.
This issue will be worth a lot of money in the future.
Trust me. Yeah?
Even the plastic cover!
Let's go have some shark's fin soup.
According to my research, the first issue of Passion Magazine
sold over a hundred thousand copies.
Wow!
It broke the record of the sales of pornographic magazines.
Because John and I used our heads.
Previous porno magazines didn't involve the night club scene.
But we've set a different trend.
We could make a nightspot an instant hit.
Your turn, sir.
C'mon boy, your turn.
Sorry, you all have to wait for a while.
Not for long, I promise...
It's a busy day out here.
Just hurry up.
It's fucking John and Andy.
We'll drink to that.
Cheers. Cheers.
You guys sure have your ways.
Now every girl in this joint
accounts for maybe 30 customers daily.
Can't cope with the demand.
Thanks you both.
If I didn't have the foresight to see the potential
in you two.
We're not going to hit the jackpot like we have now.
Our joint is literally filled with horny sperms.
Business is literally fucking good.
Thanks you for your compliment.
Your precious teachings worked out well for us.
Nobody believed in us back then.
Without our interview with you, there would be no magazines.
Andy, I know you're good at this.
Help me get some new ideas.
I want to fire up this joint even more.
Let's fucking bring the house down.
You guys must know how.
Come on, stop keeping the ideas to yourselves.
You guys want to bring down the house?
Yeah.
You wanna have fun, we'll pay for it.
Passion.
Boss, this way to room no. 9, watch your step.
Maggie, hurry.
Where are you going?
I'm exhausted. Hurry up!
Take good care of our customer.
Come on, what's taking so long?
Jeez, this is so hot...
This is even better.
Officer Cheung.
Outside a sex den in Portland Street.
We have about a hundred people queuing up.
Reportedly Passion Magazine is treating readers
to free sex with hookers.
Should we do something about this?
You two get on the van.
I invited you both.
Because you've gone to far.
You wanna have fun, we'll pay for it.
Officer, you have nothing on us.
Yes, we consulted our legal adviser...
Right, having fun does not mean prostitution.
But...
the newspapers today reported about this.
I got you both out to talk things out on the record.
So I'll have something to show my superiors.
What do you want then, Officer Cheung.
I can't teach you what to say.
You just need to tell the truth.
You guys started a joke with your readers.
Didn't think they would actually believe you guys.
As to what they did up in the sex den.
You'll of course confess that you don't know anything.
Remember me, I'm SP Cheung.
I hope you don't fall into my hands in the future.
If not, I won't be just taking you out for a spin.
I'll take you back to the precinct for a cup of coffee.
Understood.
Where are you guys, why are you not here yet?
Come on.
Sorry...
We're late, sorry.
The big boss is waiting.
Thanks.
Sorry.
Mr. Tong Fook, really sorry.
You said to proceed to Comewell.
I thought I heard you say the supermarket next door.
Waited there for 30 minutes.
It's true, we haven't had dinner yet.
You two idiots wrote that thing about our joint.
We didn't.
Seriously, Mr. Tong.
We always tell the truth, nothing less.
Yes.
Up yours!
Of course you did!
You don't know who I am, do you?
Let me show you something interesting.
This scar runs from my chest to my ass.
Long time ago.
Someone tried to bad mouth me.
I asked them for a meeting.
Every person
had two big cleavers.
Cleavers!
This scar...
was a memento of that day.
As to those fools.
They were cut into 4 pieces.
Fuck!
Your joint sucked for real, we simply told the truth.
What the hell do you mean?
Shit! Do you know how to run a sex den?
Don't blame others for your own ignorance.
If we die today,
your business will suck just the same.
Tell you what, I don't know much.
But I know how to make a joint succeed.
That's right.
Assholes!
Look, I'm in this business to make money
not to make enemies.
Why don't we all sit and have dinner?
Let's all get to know each other better, yes?
OK...
Give them some wine.
Since it's our first meeting
I'd like to show you something you've never seen before.
My double blade technique will blow you away.
Great...
Really, good.
Brilliant!
Beautiful...
Encore...
Continue please...
Miss, when will Mr. Dai give me my check?
My employees are waiting for their salaries.
I realy don't know when he will be free.
Don't leave me out in charitable endeavors.
Just name the amount.
Sky is the limit.
Mr. Dai.
Do you know what was my ambition growing up?
To run a charitable istitution, seriously.
Goodbye! Thanks you, Mr. Dai.
Walk the guest out.
Mr. Dai.
I know...
Shirley, get Raymond in, we have a publishing meeting.
Mr. Dai, I...
Can you wait a few more minutes?
I'm really busy, got meetings to attend.
If you can't wait, come back another day.
I need to go into this meeting Mr. Dai...
Shirley!
Unbelievable.
God damn it.
This is what we're paid for this month.
Why?
Why do we have to be like beggars on the street?
The magazine was a bestseller.
Fuck it.
Why do we have to go through this?
Fuck him, we want our money.
How much is his share worth?
Let's buy it off him.
Don't we have enough cash?
I agree, but I don't have the money.
Neither do I.
I got loads, but haven't earned them yet.
Not me, I'd rather have a smaller stake in this.
I'll get a loan and use my flat as collateral.
I should also ask my girlfriend to do the same.
We should buy the magazine.
You're my best buddy.
John wants to buy Passion back from Mr. Dai.
He asked Fanny to use the house as collateral.
Yeah.
That's risky.
I tried to talk him out of it.
How much was Dai's share in it?
He wouldn't release his rights for less than HK$ 1.5 Million.
This flat was intended to be my dowry.
What do you mean?
I'm betting my future on you, get it?
Do you get it?
Understood.
Finally, we own this thing.
Congratulations.
Congrats.
We can start kicking ass now that we fully own it.
This issue's theme.
Camouflage girl in the jungle takes a facial.
Good!
Remember shoot on the face, not on her breasts.
Go ahead and do it.
We'll show you the proofs later.
I'm coming, please look at the camera.
Two men? I don't do threesomes.
We're reporters from Passion Magazine.
Here to interview Titty Bird.
Oh, reporters.
Sorry.
I'm getting the door, please come in.
Come in, don't be shy.
It's fine.
Come on in, the place is crowded.
Sit down please.
7-up for you guys?
We don't get up 7 times that fast, Coke please.
Sure, Coke then.
No coke or 7-up's.
No soft drinks, but I have popsicle.
But only one left, can you share?
Have some, it tastes good.
It's ok, we'll help ourselves.
I'll put it here, just take it.
Here are our name cards, I'm the publisher.
I'm the deputy.
Who's the publisher and who's the deputy?
I'm Andy, the publisher.
He's John, my deputy.
How do you
conduct your interviews?
Just tell us your main selling point.
And we'll take some photo's.
My selling point?
I've said it all in the voice recorder.
Can you say the same thing again then?
OK, hang on a minute.
Here and now?
Yes, tell it to us, hold on.
Boss.
Call me Titty Bird.
I have big, bouncy tits.
40 inches of the real stuff.
My cleavage is deep.
My nipples are small and pinkish.
I even "swallow" if you like.
Body massage, 360 degree turn.
I'll turn so good
like you wouldn't believe it.
My pussy's fight and juicy.
It'll suck you dry.
And fuck you crazy.
Only HK$300, really cheap.
I'm waiting...
Does that work?
If it worked you wouldn't have needed us.
First of all, promise us one thing.
You shouldn't be dishonest.
40 in. bust line? You must be kidding.
And all the service you mentioned...
Every other hooker in the business does it.
Do you know what's rule no. 1 for this profession?
Not to tell your customers that you're cheap.
If they want to save money they'll just jack off.
Firstly, you need to hike up your price.
I have no customers now yet. I should hike up prices?
Trust us, we know these things.
You will become Hong Kong's
number one hooker.
I've never dreamt of becoming number one.
Then put your faith in our two big...pens.
Who are you looking for?
Titty Bird, as recommended in Passion Magazine?
It's out?
See for yourself.
You're pretty in person.
Everything in it is true.
Come in, I'll show you a good time.
OK.
I'm looking for Titty Bird.
Coming.
Come on in, Mister.
You don't look like the picture at all.
Stop looking at the picture, come in.
I'm looking for Titty Bird.
Just come on in first.
Well? Should we try once more?
What?
If you couldn't make it the first time, we can do it again.
Have you had enough rest?
When you're done we can start over.
Is that alright? Come on.
I'm complaining to the Passion Magazine for fraud against readers.
The article talked about Titty Bird.
But what I found was Shitty Bird.
Completely different things.
I am very disappointed by this complete disregard ---
of responsible journalism.
If this is the case---
Then I refuse to support the Passion Magazine from now on.
And I will spread the worst word of mouth about it.
Titty Bird.
Get here you lazy whore.
I'm busy---don't come in.
Just come back another day.
Fine, I'll wait right here.
Why don't you come in?
You have destroyed our reputation.
Look at these complaint letters.
They're all about you.
Just come in first.
Come in. Something wrong with your eyes?
Come in and we'll talk.
Fine, I'll come in.
Passion Magazine is in deep trouble now because of you.
Customers?
I'm not a customer.
Who are you? Ronaldo?
We're robbers, Mr. Publisher.
Thanks to your magazine that pointed us here.
Could you maybe sign an autograph?
What are your names?
Don't you dare tell him our real names.
Whatever then, Ronaldo, Ronaldinho.
Sorry, we need to finish off the robbery.
Let's go, little brother.
Thanks, Mr. Publisher.
This way.
Are they gone yet?
They're off.
Untie me.
How do I do that?
They tied us really tight.
I'm so thirsty.
What do you want to do about that?
Don't.
I'm bursting already.
It's painful.
In a great hurry. It's painful.
Get something to drink.
You want me to drink condoms and lubricants?
I forgot to buy some drinks.
This is fucking unbelievable.
Uh-oh, I have to pee.
Don't do it, its pointed right at my direction.
I'm not thirsty.
I can't hold it any longer.
Let's untie ourselves first.
Help me.
I have to pee.
What are you biting?
Don't lick.
If you had served all your clients ---
the way you served me just now.
Then I wouldn't have had to come.
Sorry, I got too lazy.
I thought I could get others to substitute.
I won't do it again.
It's useless to say these now.
Why don't you write a formal apology.
I'll publish it for you on the next issue.
OK.
How---
How much do I owe you?
I'll pay you for it.
No need, we're friends.
We haven't even reported this case.
Report what?
This is my first time.
I can't let others know about this.
You have a point.
Don't worry, I'll work hard from now on.
I promise I will.
I remember you said to me
that I can become number one in this trade.
Lazy Whore: My Mistake!
Titty Bird Promises never to do it again.
Mr. Boney Jone, I strongly recommend
this girl, number 77.
She's the best.
Is this number 77 really any good?
Of course ---if she was any good we wouldn't need to promote her.
Please do what you can to help.
Turn the skank into the hottest princess.
You know we don't lie, and we don't accept bribes.
That's fine.
What's no. 77's specialty?
Blow Jobs.
She's blows so well
that if she were a musician
she'd be in Kenny G's league.
Mr. Jones.
You've waited long?
I've never heard of anyone named Boney.
It's my pseudonym.
Let's start the interview, your name?
Stop that.
Tess Tickles.
Tess, where are you from?
Guangdong ---and Portugal.
Yeah you look like you have mixed blood.
How old are you, Tess?
We'll say 19---everyone says that.
18 sounds too young.
Vital stats?
36 \ 22 \ 38?
You think my butt looks big?
No---
36 \ 22 \ 33.
OK? OK.
Any specialties?
What are you good at?
I'm good at everything.
Except massage.
What specifically are your specialties then?
I prefer performing them than talking about them.
Don't tickle me.
You've got to feel it to be able to write it.
No need.
How did you know that
I like doing it on the floor?
Cold---freezing.
Hot! Too hot!
It's cold.
Cold---hot.
Hot---cold---hot---cold.
Hot!
Tess Tickles' trademark fire and ice technique.
Boney Jones felt like--- Give it to me
shuttling between the equator and north pole
understanding the real pleasure of oral sex.
Stop reading it, you fucking shit.
This will go to print, everyone will be able to read it.
What's the difference if I read it now?
Won't matter once I finish writing it.
Sorry.
I have more.
Do you now?
I have---this!
And this, too.
Fire and Ice technique!
Want to try it?
Come on, baby!
The Kenny G of Oral Sex: Tess Tickles.
How to perform the Fire and Ice Technique.
Number 77, where are you going?
There's a long queue waiting for you.
It's like a rock concert, everyone chanting for "77".
Where are you going?
I need to go to the doctors.
What for?
The doctor says if I keep on blowing.
My jaws will lock permanently like this.
I can't do this anymore.
Bullshit.
This shape is perfect for their sizes.
If you don't do it, who will?
Go on---
You're the Kenny G of massage parlors.
No one does this like you do.
Come on.
No, it hurts.
Mr. Chan!
Andy and John, thank you for coming tonight.
It's going to be a blast, trust me.
Just call earlier, I'll reserve the best room for you.
We're ok, you don't have to show us around.
Stop kidding around John.
Why don't I ask Kitty
to take our prettiest girls to have fun with you.
We're tired of looking at pretty girls.
Get us the ones with special talents.
Special talents?
What are you looking at? Scared?
Can you play drinking games?
Drinking games, can you?
I can.
You start.
Zero! Zero!
She claims to be the master at this game.
Start over. Sure.
I'll go first.
OK.
5! 10! Drink up!
Again.
You're pretty good, why don't we---
go with 6 bottles.
Fine, sure.
I don't think hospitality is her strong suit.
You bet.
Come on.
You go first.
Listen up.
5!
15!
10!
Zero!
Finish that up.
Thanks.
Great.
I think he's done.
No, I'm not.
I don't believe I can't beat you.
OK.
Let's.
Stop playing stupid drinking games, let's---
play strip games.
Bluff!
Why not.
Off. Please.
Take it off.
No.
No? You were pretty confident just now.
Off with it.
Give me a chance.
Chance? Let's go then.
How can I leave this way?
Just go.
Give me something to wear.
Fine, take it off yourself.
Now.
Stop teasing.
Let's go then.
What now?
For real?
Take it off.
Come on.
Too good to be true.
Any girl could get on magazine covers these days.
Should our Passion try something new?
Let's get some ideas.
I have one.
We can do current affairs.
What?
You know I'm not good at these.
Just trying to think of something.
Why don't we sensationalize our cover girls.
Just get women from all walks of life.
Then think of big stories to package them with.
Pretty good.
I like this idea.
We can maybe get a whore
a hooker
or a masseuse
and make her look like a lady, right?
Baby, I don't understand a word you're saying.
You won't have to.
So long as the two of us understood.
Who should we use for next issue?
Who should it be?
Tess Tickles.
Whose testicles?
Who's Tess Tickles?
Your Tess Tickles.
Your testicles?
What do you mean my Tess Tickles?
Oh no, real estate prices? Crashing.
She licked your testicles
so she's your Tess Tickles.
Why did you get your testicles licked?
When did I ever get you to lick my testicles?
You licked his testicles?
I didn't lick his testicles.
He had his testicles licked.
That's why it's his Tess Tickles.
Why did you have your testicles licked?
Yeah.
I need to call.
Tess Tickles.
It's my first time---
First time?
As a cover girl, I mean.
I bought some Macau egg tarts.
Not sure if it suits your taste.
I'm referring to myself.
No problem at all.
We have a professional photographer.
Don't worry, my experience plus this camera
will make you look pretty, no matter how ugly you are.
Don't worry.
He's an idiot, ignore him.
John, tell her the theme we're going for.
The theme we're going for tonight
is fruits.
This banana was made just for you.
It was modeled after someone's body part.
Seriously, someone's banana is that big.
Please take a seat there.
Can I take off my clothes now?
Sure.
I'll assume the position first.
OK, ride on the banana.
Like riding a pony.
Right leg---ride on it.
Raise your right leg.
Hold on.
Higher.
Good, hold it right there
open your mouth
look happy
look happy and slide it in your mouth.
I bit it off, sorry.
Yours did not come off, we're fine.
Keep it up.
Try leaning your head this way.
Better.
OK, that's enough.
OK, stop.
Let's try using a finger.
Put a finger into your mouth.
Like this?
I guess so.
That's good.
Cover Girl Tess Tickles on 10 Best Ways to lick them.
I'm so happy today
to be the special guest in Passion Magazine's 100th issue.
I've grown up with Passion Magazine.
From the very first issue they published.
I will give my best to everyone.
You look like you've never disrobed in your life.
Wait!
Do it when we're on the bus, not here.
I love Hong Kong!
I love you.
Distinguihed guests, readers of Passion.
We're going to begin.
Before we start tonight's program.
We have a flag
to present to publisher Andy.
And deputy publisher John.
Ladies and gentlemen, our chairman
Mr. Kan.
OK, now our let's welcome our leading men
Andy and John.
OK, now let's have Mr. Kan present.
Words of thanks from the sex industry.
Thanks you.
Thanks you!
It should be us thanking you really.
Photo's please.
OK.
Thanks you, Mr. Kan
thank you very much.
OK, now we hand it over to our VIP's!
Tingting is full of surprises.
Her pubic hair long enough to reach the ground.
When she lies down
her pubic hair escapes her underwears
you can use hair gel to control them.
Tingting, has a pair of pink nipples
you can squeeze it all you want.
She lives on #59 Tsuen Wan Avenue.
Waiting for you to contribute your sperms.
Hold each other tight.
Let her suck on your dick.
Swallow it whole. Come in her mouth.